Wednesday, April 21, 2004

woah.... it's like so damn long nv update liao lor.... hahahs... not very long though. hahas. today got chem test! arg! the it was so so so difficult. haiz.... she last minute then try to squeeze the transition metals into our head! arg! :( think i'm gonna fail. today is a super duper bad day fer me. this week is bad fer me also. haiz.... got bad history test, and it's like i got so low.... haiz.... hope my article will get publish. juz sent over yesterday. hee....
iloveyou||14:28

Sunday, April 11, 2004

ytd went to PS to one of the judges of the channel U new star search program. damn fun. it's like "american idol" and then we got the chance to be simon. hahas. keep pressing the button when the show sucks and they can only helplessly look at us and beg "oh pls dun press that button..." hahas.... but too bad. we are the quality control wad. hahas. but some really good. therefore we let the 2 of them off, with no "pressing of button". there are 50 of us and all 50 pass them. hmm... well done.
then there's this guy. he's the youngest there. only 16. but he look pretty cool, look like the yu wen le. so shuai. quite shuai lah. hahas. but he look good, no talent at all... or maybe he's juz too nervous. he sang the song out of tune and worse later on, when he's so exteremly at wit's end, that he even sang the song out of beat. OMG!!! haiz... therefore, in order to be a star the look itself is not the only thing that counts. :) jia you. go and improve ur singing and have more self-confidence b4 u come. hahas.
realise i didn't do any hw these 2 day. Oh God~~ save me... hahas. better go and de my speech presentation and lit poem liao... if not monday i'll be dead. hee.
*hApPy EaStEr SunDAY!!~~
iloveyou||11:01

Friday, April 09, 2004

a very nice story... read it pls... quite long, but worth reading.


Tree .The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand
corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have
dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but
never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't
have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a
very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent,
like her
frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence
and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because
I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for
me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good
feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt
her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't
have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her
accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I
have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very
demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us.
She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running
off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely
didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her
the whole day.
When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in
the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training
to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.
My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once
when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's
not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided
with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled
shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my
girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like
nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't
know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.
When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her
out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something
to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to
tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her
getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going
after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively
and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of
the school. I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile &
congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong
that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my
chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down
& I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for
the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send
10 days ago
when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since
then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"


Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?
Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying
on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of
Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as
buddy kind.
But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling
I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be
describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon.
Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths.
When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after
a mth, he got together with another gal.I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since
he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move?
Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after
time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one
sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well.
It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is
very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his
feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect
me a gal to ask him right?
Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care
for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he
will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every
night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he
is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.
The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give
up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt,
the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From
outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let
him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying
to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay


Wind Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him. One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left.

Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away it's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head.She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a
taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay

iloveyou||11:41

today is a special day.. very happy yet a bit sad. heading one yr nearer to death. hahas. really happi today. hee. got lots of presents. hee. so fun!! ytd nv go school coz sick mah. then today go to take presents. hahas. no lah. coz got physic test. haiz.... lot marks fer the second last question, coz forget to divide by the 20 oscallations. haiz... den tody ran 2km fer training. kinda slow, deprove by alot already. ran 2km in 11.45mins. very slow!!! arg!! muz train up liao. running with hubby on sat morning. hee :P
-hubby. joli- she brought me this super big card with "aspiring" words. hee. thanks. then she made cookies fer me. arh!!!~~~ the first time see her so sincere!! arg!! so touched +tears in my eyes+ hahas. +muacks+
-qianya + alicia- they brought me sunflower (which is already half dead now. hahas) and the very veyr cute and pinky wind chime. hee. thankyou.
-ling + melissa- mashmallows. hee. so nice. love it man. was eating it like every 2 mins during CO. then share with the CO pple too. +spirit of sharing+ hee... :)
-xin jie- the cow. looks cute and huggable. hee... happy bdae to u too. hope u like my bdae present. hee.
-louisa- thank you fer the sweey. hee... as sweet as u. hee.
-tammy- think u can open a shop and sell chocolates already. the chocolates u made are so nice!!! dun bear to eat... hee.... loveya. 12/12, i'll remember. u are the only person beside my hubby that actually "made" sth fer me!!! arh!!!~~~ so touched!!hahas.
-qiuning- thanks fer ur bear. so cute!!!!~~ first time in my 3 yrs see u so sweet hahas. dun worry, will give u ur belated bdae present. hee. think ur letter is so crappy, but really have a good luff. hahas. sheng jia you!!!
-hui ci- thanks fer u present. it's nice. hee. seldom tok to u leh.. so shocked that u gave me bdae present! OMG~~!! hahas... loveay too. ur suo na very the pro leh. proud of u leh. +i'm not lying, from the bottom of my heart+ but can be improve too. hee...
-yu yue- thank you fer ur card, bracelet and necklace. hee. very beautiful. u brought them from china, did u? hmm... thanks. although u counted as my 'junior' u also behave v.motherly and take care of me. tell me lots of stories. hahas. loveya. +btw, muz rembr to always to come fer CO on time!+ hahas. :p
-weiting- my lovely junior, thanks fer ur card. hee. the design is very nice. think is one of the nicest card i ever received. hahas. really muz praise u fer praticing so hard and really improve a lot liao. +proud of u, but of coz, proud of myself too...coz i'm ur senior mah. hahas...+ jia you!
-jovena- the flowers. hee. thank you. hee... we've know each other fer 6 yrs already!! woah. hee. friends 4eva.
-liu qiong- so long nv tok and meet already. really miss you lots... rembr the times when we are young, we tok abt... rembr the recesses we use to have together, the tears we used to shed together...+hahas...i crapping+ but really, feel like crying when u called. for forever, u'll always be my BEST friend. the dreams we shared... and the things we did together. we'll watch each other grow old and still be best of best friends no matter how old and ugly we'll become!! hee :) loveya always and always! u are only person who truely understands me!! hee:) next time go muz find time to go catch a movie. i grew taller already! bleah. hee.
-jiajun +tuition tr+- feel so paiseh when u give me the present.. hee... hahas. did expect u too be so nice +opps!+ hahas. thank you. i'll do my hw next time and try my very best to pass every maths test. hahas. thanks you tr!! hee :)

last but not least, muz thank 3 purity fer sing me bdae song or rather songs.!! hee +aiyo.. so paiseh...+ hahas... and all the pple who wish me happy bdae. hee...
+boos. it's now 12.15, which means my bdae is over by 15 mins already... haiz... muz be more mature now. hahas.+
iloveyou||00:20

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

today nv go school. haiz... coz sick mah. ytd do the eng speech till 3.30am in the morning. then went ot sleep. but when i woke up, felt so giddy and headache. haiz... wasted my effort writting my speech the whole night, coz in the end also nv get to present. haiz. hahas. tml got physic test. but i dunno wad to study!!! i mean i studied today, but like dun really understand wad they toking leh... somemore now need to do research poem also. haiz...
iloveyou||20:24

Monday, April 05, 2004

ytd spent so much effort in doing the lit project and improving it. but in the end still got reprimanded by mrs yoothendran (dunno how to spell) but i'm still quite proud of myself and louisa at least i think it's better that the previous one (no offence to anyone). slept at 2 am ytd lor. but in the end? haiz... wadever lah.
i love qian ya's wine chocolate... so nice... i'm drunk... hahas. then i find that i actually trusted fel quite a lot too... but sometimes will think that she's quite a complicated person. sometimes abit hard to communicate with her leh. dunno why also. maybe she dun like toking to me. haiz. or am i juz being too sensitive?
today go macs and then some pple dao me and joli lor. fine. dao then dao lor. u think u very pretty ar. wad so great abt u? stoopid face and eeekk... yucks. u dun like us, we dun like u. +bleah+ what goes around comes around. hahas. idiotic face and idiotic everything from the head to the toes, to the toe nails. eek... (shh... dun say too loud...)hahahs.
slept 3 hrs this afternoon (so pig wor) and skipped er xian lesson. then lie to her i doing project in school. but really got lots of hw to do wad. neway, gotta do hw now le.hee... haven't do my amaths, emaths, english speech, physic worksheet 8&9, plus tuition hw yet... haiz...and lastly have write a essay fer qianqian yet. it's due this fri. but i seriously got no inspiration at all... haiz... lotas work to do... somemore physic test is on my big day!!! haiz...

iloveyou||20:21

Friday, April 02, 2004

today got maths test... not as difficult as the previous one., hope i can do well. hee. anyway, today went fer er xian lesson at outram park then took mrt with qianx. we tok alot... and she told me alot, and i tell her alot too (duh!) hahas. then find that she's really nice!! enjoy toking to her. hee...
then go fer lesson, although nv go fer lesson fer 1 month already, but instead of deproving i improved!! and she praised me! hahas. the picth is more accurate when i press and tone more firm. hahas... yeah~~~
juz now walk hm with my hubby after tuition. hahas.. think she's more shuai now... hahas... anyway, there's actually nothing btw us lah. juz bez of bez friends (we're striaght kaes. hahas). then we tok and tok and tok. nowadays that we dun see each others so often, we always got so much and so much to tok and share with each othe when we meet. hee. we mainly gossip together lah. hahas. send me this photo, i think she look the nicest in it loh!! not pretty but rather sporty lah. hahas. she said she's going to make cookies fer my burfday. +so touched+ she said she dunno how to make but she'll try. ar~~ so cool!! hee. she sent me this photo, then got this TCH guy, i think look like lisheng, sent lisheng the photo and then he juz doubt the fact that both of them look alike then dao me. hmp! :)
anyway, tml going to NUS fer the dunno wad tok then had to rush to SPH immediately after that. haiz... will be a damn busy and boring day.
next week is a special week!!! but there's physic test on my special day!! aw... but it's not gonna spoil my fun. hee. :)
iloveyou||23:35